Jesus chose me long before I chose him

                                     PERSONAL TESTIMONY- JESUS STARTED IT ALL                                

Shalom! to all my beloved blog followers. I hope you are fine and well this day and hour, and that you will have a blessed weekend. In Stockholm we will face a big storm, so we ought to keep our hats and wigs on this weekend so they don't blow away. I hope those of you who havent received Jesus/Yeshua in your hearts as Lord and Savior, will do that soon. He has a special plan just for you, and there is a place in every humans heart that long for relationship with God. Jesus is the way there. And he opened the way by carrying our sins on the cross so we can be forgiven and cleansed from our sins, and enter in to a new relationship with the creator of our lives and souls. So we could have our relationhsip with God restored. Those of you who already have Yeshua/Jesus in your hearts as Lord and Savior, I hope you will keep on seeking his face on a daily basis, so you can grow spiritually and get strong enough to face the future persecutions. The narrow way won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Just be willing to obey, and trust that God knows whats best for you. Put Jesus first, he is the only person who is worthy to be put first in our lives. Everything you have, every second of breath you have is because he gave it to you. You ought to remember that. He loves you dearly.

Today I felt God wanted me to share a personal testimony, of how I became the born again Christian I am today, and what he has done in my life.

The first years of my life, I had a very bad immune system, I got sick a lot and had a fever of 40 degrees on my second birthday. I think I either had gluten intolerance or sensitivity already then, that took part in my weak immune system, because about 4 years ago I got celiac disease diagnose and one of its early symptoms is weak immune system. I have early memories being in a hospital, and I have painted pictures at age 4 when I was lying in a hospital bed. I also remember sleeping alone over in a hospital in the dark, and this doctor came at night and took my blood samples. He looked like he was from turkey or middle east. I felt alone and abandoned. But since I had fever I was pretty groggy. I had fever, pneunomia, problems with ears several times and sometimes even had several infections at the same time. And I was afraid everytime we visited a doctor because I knew they would cause me pain. Still I don't like the smell of hand sanitiziser. I suppose God might still need to heal me from those painful memories one day.

But despite all that, by God's grace i survived. And my christian parents, used to sing christian lullabies to me, and my father put his hand on my head and blessed me when I was young, before bedtime, and I felt so peaceful. I felt this supernatural peace, that I later on got to know as the presence of God the holy spirit, transfer throught my fathers hands when he prayed for me. That was one of my earliest encounters with God's presence, not seen but spiritually felt.

Though I am greatful for growing up in a christian home, it wasnt my parents that "made me christian" they where simply God's vessels. When they sang christian songs or prayed for me, I senced Gods presence in it. And later on, at age 13, after only visiting a well known church near my home, a girl from chile started to go there, and she found out about the Filadelfia church and their youth meetings, and wanted company. 

That was Gods way of reaching out to me.  In school I was bullied for being different, from age 6 to 15 somebody always found ways of being mean to me, and I struggled with unforgiveness a lot. Later on when I got closer to God, he told me how important forgiveness was and I learned to forgive and the peace that followed was amazing.

But in church, I found a friend who I joined to youth meetings in Filadeflia church, and there I got to know more christian people. My school was not a christian school, it was a school where we spoke both finnish and swedish, some teachers only spoke swedish, some finnish.  Many kids from there grew up in cursing, smoking and drinking surroundings and my family was being gossiped about because they where christians.There where some other people in my school who also came from christian homes, and a couple of them where often nice to me, I will always be greatful for their kindness, they know who  they are. My school years where pretty dark, the ones who where nice to me during those years I will always be greatful for. I don't really have that many from those years as followers in social media. Only the kind ones. I also had my favorite teachers. But holy spirit filled christianity, where I could really feel God's presence, I encountered  only at home and when I started to go to youth meetings in Filadelfia church, and they prayed for eachother in the end.

Until that time, church for me was hearing bible stories, and playing games with other youngsters, and singing songs. And eating yummy "fika". But at age 13, I felt the presence of God again, when we had prayer circle in Filadelfia church and all other youngsters took turns and prayed for eachother. One at a time was allowed to sit on a chair in the middle, while the others put their hands on him or her and prayed for him or her. I felt the warm presence of God through them like I remembered from my childhood. And I found christian friends.

At school, I was an outcast, but at church and in Finland with my cousins I visited every summer until young adulthood, I had friends and rich social life. And others prayers, like my uncles prayers and songs, God used as channels to reach me.

Thats how it began. For years I visited youth meetings, and more and more supernatural stuff started to happen. I felt the joy in worship songs, comfort and healing in songs about Jesus being a comforter and healer, and at age 19 I decided I wanted to have Jesus in my heart as Lord and Savior.

I did have many attacks from the dark side, nightmares and stuff like that, and I still sometimes have them, only I am happy they are only temporary. And God has sent through the years many people in my path, who prayed for me. And spoke to me prophetically, told me what Gods plans for my life was, and I have found ways to share my faith with others throughout years. I have several times went to church, and strangers to me, who shared my faith, have come to me and said stuff that was private, that I had only been thinking, like God have seen your thoughts, you have been thinking this and that, they could not possibly have known it if not Jesus had told them that. As a way of showing me that I was seen and heard. 

Before I started to hear God speak to me directly. Before I knew better, I had as young christian been involved in bad stuff, like horror movies, new age, books movies and series with vampires and witchcraft, which have caused me a lot of trouble in spiritual world, plus unforgiveness. But step by step God has helped me to be free from it all, from the harm they had caused me in my life. The dark world. He has guided me and told me what to get rid off and when I needed to forgive someone, and sent many people to pray for me in different church meetings.

In my years as a young christian, I also became closer to Israel. I heard the news reports of what happened in middle east, and they where not truthfull in most Swedish media channels they where on the leftist side and left some important parts out from the news reports. Thankly God sent a Israeli journalist called Dick Haas in my fathers path, and through my father and Dick Haas writings I found out what really happened and I just knew swedish media was not mostly fair. I also attended a may first demonstration against racism, with my sister and her then boyfriend who was leftist, and saw the ugly face of antisemitism for the first time.  And heard about suicide bombings and shootings where innocent children being killed in Israel, but not told about at all in Swedish media who only reported when children died at the palestinian side. My blood just boiled. I still don't trust what they say in the big media channels in Sweden about middle east conflict. Never again. Expressen and Aftonbladet and people working in there , I am talking about you! you need to repent! and turn back to Jesus! 

As I grew in my relationship with Jesus, I also got closer to Israel. When I visited my first pro Israel rally at age 24, and heard hatika for the first time, I felt in my spirit, that the song was special and I was supposed to be there, I felt fellowship with the jewish people. Later on my father took DNA test and found out we have jewish dna in our blood also, Ashkenazi and Sephardic. 

And you more I grew in my faith to Jesus, you closer I got to Israel. As a born again christian who prays at least 14 hours a week, I can't understand how anyone can be hostile to Israel and still have a living faith in Jesus. Jesus is the Messiah Israel is looking for, and has never turned in to a gentile. His hebrew name is Yeshua. And he is meeting jews in Israel on a daily basis. 

God has personally told me that people who bear his name, and are mean to Israel and jews, bring shame to his name, because they do more harm than good, they make Israel not reckognize their own Messiah. Israel has been persecuted from so called christians for years, but never was it Jesus will. I have never felt so close to God, but when I spend time praying for Israel with other believers. It brings spiritual clarity, sensitivity and peace. That should tell people something.

God also just few years ago, have called me to be what we call "Prolife" person. A voice for the unborn. And I have gotten a lot of practice of future persecutions, when I have publicly opposed abortion rights. But Jesus has sent me there. And I have wept tears for all the precious children that God have sent but where not valued but killed defenceless in their mothers wombs. Tears that God has put in my heart.

 Jesus has given me and my pro life friends the courage and the will to be the salt of the earth, and thats why we do what we do. I have always loved children, have worked with children even while I still was a teenager, and before that I babysat my sister and my cousins. I also have heard a prophecy from a evangelist called Neil Sundblaad, that I have a shepherds calling and will bring young people to Jesus. And God certainly has! during the years God have used me to reach both biologically young and spiritually young people, the way he first reached out to me, I have taught them what I learned myself. I thank God for the teachings of Derek Prince, through my father who heard of him first, I also got to read many books and hear many teachings through casettes and youtube where he explained Bible and Gods will. 

God can use all people, who are willing to be used. And he reached out to me before I said yes to him, through people and circumstances that served him, knowing that  would say yes later on.  He has a special plan for all of you, and neither one of you are reading this as an accident. God sent you here. Just let him in your hearts! You wont regret it! yes people might call you names and turn against you, but you are not alone and God will send you better people at your path, that are meant to be in your lives. And he will help you to forgive like he has forgiven you.

I didnt share this blog to boast, I am still growing in my faith and fall from time to time and need to go to Jesus for forgiveness and cleansing, but I have grown a lot therefore I reckomend spending time with God in prayer and Bible studies, for anyone who want to be christian/Messianic jew or as such want to grow and flourish in spirit! and to bless Israel! All people fall in sin and need Jesus forgiveness, and only in eternity with Jesus do we become perfect, but only because Jesus has saved you and you accepted what he did for you on the cross. He is the only way truth and the life.

Whoever you are, know that Jesus is the one who decides who he has chosen. When/if you come to Jesus one day,know he is the one who have started it all. He chose you before you chose him, just like with me and millions of other christians. And he, our heavenly father and holy spirit love you more than anyone else ever will. By his grace we are saved, not by our own works.

I end with a beautiful Bible verse.

Ephesians 2: 4-10:

But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we where dead in our tresspasses. It is by grace you have been saved ! And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might display the surpassing riches of His grace, demonstrated by His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the Gift from God, not by works so no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life.

Thats all for tonight. Take care and God bless.