Without Jesus, I would have left this earth year 2000
JESUS HAS SAVED MY LIFE AND MY SOUL
Nothing I am today, would I be if Jesus would not have saved my life and my soul. I felt he wanted me to testify, tell a bit to you who don't already know, why I am here today. How I came to Christ. How I came to Yeshua Hamaschiach. Or how he came to me, already in early childhood, through other christians, and later on I responded to the call and said yes.
My childhood was not easy, I fought different diseases and bugs and visited hospital several times, the first 4-5 years of my life. I even got several bugs at the same time, why at my second birthday I had 40 degrees fever. And later on I developed asthma. I was often confused and afraid, especially for the doctors who hurt me when they took different test on me.
But what I do remember as positive memories, already before I started school and years of bullying hell started, is moments when my father and mother blessed me, prayed for me, and sang christian songs to me before bedtime. I remember my uncle doing the same when I had a sleepover in Finland in my uncles and cousins house. And through my family members, Gods invisible hand gave me supernatural peace, through his presence in them. It was the presence of God, that gave me peace, already as a child. God only used my family members as vessels to reach me.
My mother used to tell me stories about the little lamb that was lost and hurt, and Jesus the shepherd heard the lambs cry and found him/her and put him/her upon his shoulders and took care of him/her. It brings tears to my eyes often when I think about it. It was a time of innocence and trust, that came to be challenged in the future, but there God planted a seed, that would later on grow to a flower and then to a tree of faith, which is why I decided to give God a chance to save me year 2000.
I was bullied from age 6 to 15, for being different. Later on at age 29, I found it was high functioning autism or what we used to call Asperger, that made me different. I did have friends from time to time throught that period, but it was not "safe" friendship, friends that always where there and I could 100% rely on all the time. I have good memories from childhood, from those friendships, temporary as they where, and I thank God for them.
And I thank God he led me to the filadelfia church at age 13, where I got to know other christians and didn't have to feel like an alien because I had faith in Jesus and came from a christian family.
But since I didn't understand the importance of forgiveness, the wounds of rejection where still there, tormenting me, and opening the doors to the evil spiritual world that gave me nightmares.
And just before Highschool, at age 16, I was having a period of depression. I wanted to know sure I was ever going to have more in my future, than I already had at that time.
I was thinking about suicide, and prayed in my thoughts, to Jesus and asked him to show me, if I ever was going to have something bigger to live for, like a child of my own, then I begged him to show me that, or else I was going to kill myself.
The same night an Angel appeared to me in a dream, and brought me to the maternity ward( sometime at spring or summer) and brought me to one of those strollers where they put babies in, with invisible glass, and pointed to a cute baby with dark hair, saying this is your son.
I also saw my mother visit me and the baby in that dream, and I saw that I had gone through a c section. It was a prophetic dream, yet to be fullfilled. But it saved my life. Jesus saved my life by answering my prayer.
And my life really changed when I started highschool, I found Sandra as my future best friend, and many wonderful classmates, and the bully from my previous school, who started in my class, left the class after a short period time, and my life started to look more normal. The only ones who still could say or do something not nice to me, was the ones who came to the same highschool from my previous school, but the rest of my class was filled with nice people.
I continued to visit church, I got more and more supernatural encounterings with God, yes I still had my struggles with depression, but Jesus was there, and over and over again he reached out to me, first throught other christians and prophetic dreams, and later on more and more spirit to spirit, heart to heart, and even face to face.
I have heard strangers for me, say God wants to heal you from this and this( true stuff) in different churches, they could not have known that if it wasn't that God had not told them, because it was personal. Nobody can see your thoughts, but God and his angels.
God has blessed me with good friends, a wonderful church, and given me many chances to help other christians and even non christians, with the wisdoms I gained through my own walk of faith. As a young christian I listened a lot to Derek Prince( his teachings are still on youtube) and read his book and learned about the battles between good and evil, God and Satan, dark and the light.
If I had left this earth at age 16, I would never have met my now in heaven, best friend from earth, Sandra, and shared my faith with her before she died at age 34 in cancer. My nephews would not have been having any memories of me. And all the people God throught the years have used me to help , to glorify his name,would have not been reached. Sandra used to be afraid of christianity, but before she passed away, she became spiritually open and asked for a Bible, and told me she had already accepted Jesus, when I urged her to do it while she could. I have been a lot in different forums, encouraging people. Now I pray for them instead, as a prayer warrior.
And God still is not finished with me, so here I am, thankfull for the mercy of Jesus. I would not be here serously, if he hadn't answered my prayer.
And I pray for all of you, who read this blog, I pray you will someday give your whole lives to Jesus if you havent already done it because that really changes your life, yes it has its challenges, the spiritual war is real and the dark side will do what they can to make you leave Jesus once you said yes to him, because then you are a weapon against the dark world, and that scares them. Only in Jesus there is victory, both in this life and in the next. He can use you to others salvations, so 1000 years from now, you can be in heaven together, with me and many others, forever, serving God and having so much fun. In loving relationship . No money or fame in the world, can be compared to that, to be in a relationship with the creator of the universe, and the only salvation to your soul. Who payed a big price on the cross, carrying your sins, curses and pains, so you could be saved.
I will end with one of my fauvorite Bible verses. Since we live in a world filled with fear and turublence, I found it suitable to share this bible verse. Jesus own words:
Matthew 11:28: Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens , and I will give you rest".
Jesus can give you rest, and carry your burdens, even when the world is at unrest. He is the only one who really can do it in a deep and satisfying way. Don't believe that Knutby tragedy that Swedish producers more than willingly keep alive to the end, has anything to do with real Christianity, or what the catholic crusaders did when they burned people alive. David Wilkerson, Corrie Ten Boom, Derek Prince, and Salvation army plus dreamcenter in LA, those where and are the real ones. The people that share the gospel in a loving way. And most of people in pro life organizations, like my brother Mats Selander. The ones with guts, who don't compromize because of fear of man. You can also buy or borrow a Bible and read what Jesus said and thought for real, there was no murder or evilness in him. Nor any antisemitism.
Thats all for tonight, take care & God bless/ Shalom /Tanja
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