Thoughts about being 35- And God's hand in it all

                                              MY PERSONAL STORY OF BEING 35                       





Shalom! to all my beloved blog followers. I hope you are all well, and that your week
has been blessed with memories that will bring you joy and laughter, to the rest of your earthly journey. I hope you have become closer to accept Jesus in your life as a saviour and Lord, or if you have done it already I hope you had blessed moments spending time with him this week too. He is the only one who can bring you to his perfect plan for your life. It will not be easy all the time, especially when you walk through the fire and others oppose you for being a Christian/Messianic Jew, but it will be worth it because he is always with you.

Today I felt God's will was to testify a little about my life and what he has done in it. Today was my 35th birthday, and my 35 years on this earth has been a heck of a ride. I have survived diseases that could have killed me twice before my 5th birthday, got bullied through my entire school years from age 6 to 16, got friends, lost friends, battled against dark forces, met Jesus, been filled with the holy spirit, testified to numerous people about Jesus wherever he opened doors, sometimes through internet and sometimes face to face. I have spent numerous hours taking care of others kids, both as a Preschool teacher and payed nanny and free nanny to my friends kids,cousins and my nephews.  And learned a lot! I have trusted the wrong kind of people and got my heart broken, and lost people that I loved dearly because God decided to take them home to heaven before me.
I have been rejected and mocked and even received death threats for being a Christian and a Jewess and a Israel friend.

I have read books, both about psychology and Christian teachings, and been grown in the spirit as a Christian, and listened hours to different kind of teachings from the Bible and heard prophecies from God through his servants like David Wilkerson, Derek Prince, John Paul Jackson and Joyce Meyer. And Linda Bergling too. And lately I even have started to pray a lot, because I honestly wouldn't be able to stay in Sweden and serve God without the presence I get from spending time in front of the face of Jesus in prayer.
I have loved, laughed, hated, forgiven and cried. I have doubted the Love of God at dark times, but lost the doubt later on after hearing his loving voice tell me he loves me.
I have gotten close to some relatives, and lost in touch with others because they chose not to keep me close in their life, and I don't like chasing people.
I have fought for the unborn Childrens rights to live in pro life meetings and got hated for it by bystanders. And being supportive of groups who fight for Childrens rights in the first place, who think parents should be allowed to be the parents not school system. And that is because God has given me a heart that loves children! and I have seen and read about the consequences of kids being separated from parents too soon.
I have comforted people in need of loving words, not gotten love in return when I was in need. And forgiven!  

I have been battling against suicide thoughts and depression, sometimes only seen by God, and have been rescued from suicide by God several times. I have been called a Christian fanatic, a murderer( simply because I attended a pro Israel rally) nutcase and stupid by people who don't know me, but a loyal friend, smart and shrink from people that gotten me close.
I had prophetic dreams, heard words of wisdom and heard prophetic messages from God and his other children. I have fooled death when a crazy guy nearly ran me over with a bus and I managed to escape. I have contacted politicians and Christian brethren with messages God sent me to tell them like warnings of what happens if they don't repent and also words of what God wants with their Churchs. 
And now to more of what Jesus has done:
He has saved my soul, after chosen me and drawing me to him through situations and other people through my upbringing.
He has sent me people on my path, that have encouraged me, prayed for me, and given me prophetic words that have helped me through dark periods of times.
He has let me see how heaven looks like, in prophetic dreams.
He has given me a love to Israel and the Israeli and Jewish people, love that he shares and a will to stand up for their rights to live in peace in Israel their only true
 home, where they all will be gathered in the future by God's mighty hand.

He has opened my eyes to my own Israeli family history, through my fathers DNA test and dreams and personal words of my ancestors being persecuted why they had to hide their Israeli roots, which has been the reason why I felt sadness when listening to Israeli music and hearing the song Hatikva and seeing pictures of Israel. I might not be a "Jewess" through the new rules by rabbi's and Israeli government, I don't know when I can even test my mothers side of ancestry and to get the DNA that would proof that "I really am a Jew". But in God's eyes he sees me as one why he has told me one day I will return home and make an Alyah.
He has sent me friends, and spiritual seekers strangers and family members who I have been able to share spiritual truths with and pray with and for.
He has removed people from my life, that where not meant to be there in the first place, and I wonder how many he still has left to remove. People that where only meant to be a short time in my life.

He has been with me during long walks outside, even after dark and protected me with his Angels and used me to testify about his love through social media, since he gave me the love to take pictures too!
He has tested my patience, but given me hope in the midst of it.
He has made me angry when I didn't understand him, but he has also moved me with his deep love and compassionate words afterwards to remove that anger. 
He has given me many good family members, like one of my aunts who always remembers my birthday and always have supported me since I was a child. And given me many good memories with my sisters and my cousins, even my uncles, and my fathers mother who now is in heaven.
He has sent me to Christian parents, who told me about him and his love and sang Christian lullabies that gave me peace and security as a child.
He has given me gifts, like the gift of writing, painting and drawing and creating overall. And he has given me spiritual gifts like Prophetic gift, gift of discerning spirits, words of wisdom and words of knowledge, and a "Shepherds" calling, a heart that cares for other peoples eternal souls.
He has given me a sense of humour, and it has served many people during my life who's laughter I will take with me to eternity.
Well this has been my life, and I am not done yet! I now share Bible quotes of some of my favourite psalms that has helped me at dark times and gives light even at good times.
Thanks for reading my blog! take care & God bless


              PSALM 23:1-4- A Psalm of David


The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.


He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.


Even though I walk

 through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
 for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

             PSALM 91: 1-8: 

 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
  will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.


  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

  my God, in whom I trust.”


 Surely he will save you

 from the fowler’s snare
 and from the deadly pestilence.


 He will cover you with his feathers,

 and under his wings you will find refuge;
 his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.


You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked



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